Dear Child O' Mine

Notes & Letters to My Child… Which Will One Day Embarass Him

Bums…

I understand how curious you are right now. And I also understand that my closing the door to go to the restroom is an insane idea to you… but I would really appreciate it if you would find something else to try and look at closely when I’m wiping my bum.

Also… I have no idea why my phone charger fascinated you so but no matter how hard you try, it will never be edible.

Love always,
Mommy

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